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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband has started exploring his/their gender identity and I'm having a hard time with it. (I'm not trying to be rude on the pronouns, but he still uses  "he" and is still debating "they". Yes, this drives me nuts.)

We've been married for over 10 years, with two young children. I thought we were happy, but the pandemic isolation and remote schooling for two elementary age kids (combined with starting a new job during the pandemic and both working full time with no child care or nearby family) have definitely made the last year challenging. He is seeing an individual therapist for depression, which he only told me several months later-- he hides the depression well behind a stoic demeanor. I'm not sure how the gender identify and depression issues fit together.

A little over six months ago, my husband said he was considering identifying as nonbinary. He won't define what this looks like to him-- beyond "accepting" this new identify. I know he has experimented with shaving body hair, nail polish, wigs, makeup, and dresses, although it has been hidden from me and the children. He claims he does not want to medically transition, although I'm not sure if this is a true lack of desire, inability to pass as female (they're very tall and broad), or a reluctance around medical procedures and medication.

I'm boringly straight, so my husband exploring "female" presentations is a real turn-off for me and I'm not sure what this means for our marriage going forward. I'm not a big fan, but depending on what this looks like in everyday life I want to work something out. Some days the gender identify seems to be a big deal to him, while others he brushes it off as pandemic boredom leading him to try something new and exciting. We're trying to find a therapist with experience in the area, but are having trouble finding a good fit. My husband is participating with some of the LGBTQ etc. groups at work, but it's full of young hip 20-somethings exploring what label fits them, not married husbands with mortgages. He claims he needs more time to figure this out, but it's been six months of circular conversations and no progress. I fear he truly wants to transition but is hiding it to make me happy. Help?[/quote]

Oh hell no![/quote]

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