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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you have a jumble of thoughts so let me organize them for you.

- You want to get married
 - You want to have kids
 - You are 38 and have a deadline (in your head)
 - You pay a therapist for help 
 - You have someone who wants to marry you and presumably wants to start a family with you

Here's the rub.  You don't know if you should marry this guy who wants to marry you.

Let's break it down:

- You are an introvert
 - You have a particular communication style
 - You pay for someone to help you with relationships (your therapist)
 - The person you pay for relationship therapy is saying you can't have your cake and eat it too in the timeframe you want it (this is true in many aspects of life but not always)
 - The person you pay for relationship therapy is saying "you have to make BF the right person."  Another way of saying that is that you are finding reasons to doubt the relationship
 - Many on DCUM are saying - trust your gut, don't marry this guy.  Keep in mind, none of these commenters have met you or your BF.  
 - But the rub is that you want to get married.

So how do you know if this is the guy you are to get married to?
 - Slow it down and remove the timeframe
 - Trust the person you are paying for advice - really hear what they are saying and try out their advice
 - See if your BF responds well to a change in your behavior and see if they will adjust what is making your gut nervous
 - Take it slow
 - What the other commenters are saying is that they've been burned in the past and trying to warn you about their bad outcomes that they've experienced
 - That doesn't mean the outcome will be bad for you
 - All relationships have some give and take but it sounds like you need more time with your BF to make a marriage determination
 - [b]Remove the timeframe as that creates unnecessary pressure[/b]
 - While you do want to have kids, who's to say that you will be able to give birth naturally?  Maybe adoption or a surrogate is an option
 - [b]But I agree with other posters who have said, pick the correct spouse first and then worry about kids after that[/b]
 - Only you, with the advice from your therapist and your experience with your BF, will be able to determine if this is the right relationship

You can do this OP!  
 
 [/quote]

Ludicrous.

Her choice is:  kids with possibly the wrong guy, or no kids.

If she wants kids, THIS IS IT.[/quote]

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