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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You and your therapist are working on making this relationship the right one because of your age and your desire for a family since you’re already 38.

What you don’t seem to know is how to tell if the person you’re dating will be a good spouse to you after marriage and where to set boundaries for yourself.  You need to know what the red flags are, what the non-negotiables are for you, and be willing to drop this guy if he’s not the right one.

Suggest getting premarital counseling with him and see how willing he is to work on things with you now.  If he’s willing to go and do the necessary work, that would be a good sign.  If not, you’ll have your answer.[/quote]

The core issue with him is that he is great as long as he is getting his way. He doesn’t take “no” well and can get very nasty when we disagree.[/quote]

PP here.  The nastiness is a huge red flag.  Your gut is signaling that something is wrong, but the therapist is making you question your own judgment.

Your therapist a man and he can identify with a guy’s perspective.  There are times that everyone disagrees with their partner and we all have our limits.  The question and deal breaker is how well you can each tolerate each other’s no, and disagreement.  You can reflect on whether you always want to get your way which might eventually set off someone who is usually tolerant, but if he always bullies you because he always wants to get his way, it’s time to break up.  Trust your gut feelings.

If he’s open to going to counseling and shows that he’s willing to work on himself, there might be hope, but you alone won’t be able to fix this.[/quote]

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