Reply to Our daughters boyfriend is now living with us, what are some realistic boundaries to set

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[quote=Anonymous]Agree with PPs that really carving out a space for him downstairs will help with establishing boundaries and allowing separation when needed. Agree that the sex is the least of your worries (since you're handling the birth control), but personally, I would insist that everyone sleeps in their own bed, if for no other reason than to reinforce that these are private spaces.

I don't know if you have a chores list for your other kids, but maybe if you drew something like that up, he could relax a little and not feel like he's on eggshells. A famliy meeting could put everyone at ease.

I like the idea of talking with the kids individually, especially given the potential weirdness of the dynamic should the romance or friendship end. That said, your whole family is making a commitment to a person who has been traumatized--to really help him, this needs to be a stable home and not "one strike and you're out" or it only works as long as everyone is happy. Be sure that everyone is willing to make that level of commitment, because less than that can do more harm. You seem to already know this on a gut level.

As others have said, bless you and your family for stepping up for this kid. Hoping that all of you thrive!

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