Reply to What would you do if you found out your spouse of 25 years had a big secret

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "What would you do if you found out your spouse of 25 years had a big secret"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm sorry OP. Understand that the deception is the nature of the disease. It is a betrayal of you but that's what the disease does. Not saying it's ok or you need to stay or forgive etc. Al Anon should be helpful as you get your bearings

As for ppl attacking op for being in denial,  you would like to think you'd know, that you could never be fooled. But addiction is often progressive and makes people masters of deception

I recently learned a friend is a heroin addict. Has struggled 25 years now. Has two kids, a PhD, a seemingly good marriage, a high profile job. Things spiraled during covid (and generally addictions get worse not better) and she almost died. But until recently her spouse of more than a decade didn't know. He suspected something, but never that. Her (non addict) friends didn't know. [b] She described to me the measures age went through to keep things secret, to "manage" her addiction. She noted ruefully that is she had directed the amount of time and mental effort she our in hiding and navigating her addiction to her writing or academic work she could have written a series of books by now.[/b] [/quote]

+ 1 i've heard the same for those caught up in an affair which is in and of itself a coping/addiction for some.  Some of the op-ed they go through to avoid detection and, gaslight and often never travel,, go out w/out spouse on boys/girl nights/trips and home on time for dinner every night.

but, yes, functional alcoholics are very adept. you don't smell it and the hide the signs so, so well until eventually the health symptoms or they progress (which many do over time)

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics