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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]SIL is a very, VERY introverted woman. Has been that way since childhood according to DH. DH and I suspect she has an undiagnosed Asperger's. She doesn't like company, period. Happy to work from home, take care of her children, engaged in their activities, but doesn't have close friendships and is perfectly fine flying solo. We are OK with that. But our kids are not. They want to get to know their cousins and SIL is not that keen on that. She never invites us to their house. She sets time on playdates, everything has to be outside. Been like since before the pandemic. Birthday parties are only for SIL, her DH and the kids. Again, WE are OK with that but our kids are offended. Should we talk to her? Should we ask her to "tough it out" once or twice? [/quote]

Introverted people are not like this. I am introverted but I like company once in a while and I don't hold my kids back even when I am not in a mood to interact with people. [/quote]

So much projection.

Could be SIL finds OP ago be a horrible, nosy busybody. She is willing to spend 2 hours at the park or at OPs as a reasonable compromise to family harmony.
 Could be part of the reason for those time limits is that these kids have play dates all over the place with people they are not the cousins, or have lots of activities.

It says a lot to me that the onus, again is on the woman, and not the BIL, as keeper of the children’s happiness or whatever. These children are not being sequestered away if they are going on two hour play dates with their cousins and go to their cousins house. OP has some agenda about going to their house and letting the kids play unchecked for hours on end. I don’t really see anything unreasonable about what’s going on, other than OPs need to diagnose someone with something she knows nothing about over stuff that is entirely in her own head.

Not everyone views cousins being BFFs as some sort of freakish birthright, especially when there is a an age difference (which P still has not answered about). [/quote]

WTF? Do you even know what projection mean?[/quote]

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