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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]11:59 thank you for your defense and understanding. But I am so used to DCUM'ers reacting this way. My aunt is a psychiatrist. From my last conversation with her about my sister and also the behavior of other women, I know that sometimes when women react this way it's because something I said struck a nerve or they're unhappy about something in their own lives. Maybe they were previously TTC and can empathize with my sister's jealous feelings. Maybe there was something in my initial post that rubbed them the wrong way because of something going on in their own personal life. So I don't take any criticism on DCUM personally at all. It's just advice and I can choose to take the advice that I think is helpful...and btw, my psychiatrist-aunt said it was her issue and it's best to avoid her. That's hard to do though because we are family.

But some background info...Growing up, my sister was always the introverted, brainy kid in the family who boys didn't pay attention to. I was the outgoing one with more dates. I wasn't into school but more into clothes and hair. Sometimes if she was watching Jeopardy and I came down to join her she'd nastily ask, "What are you doing here watching Jeopardy, don't you need to go curl or hair or something?" The insults got worse during my teen years. At a dinner party someone said their husband was from Helsinki. I asked where that was. My sister, mortified that I didn't know my geography well, said out loud, "You're embarrassing to be around." At our church, I was elected to be our youth group leader. I was editor of our church newspaper. Boys were asking me out a lot and it used to bother her. Once for Mother's Day we decided to have a portrait taken of the both of us and put in a beautiful frame to gift to our mother. It was an expensive portrait. She thought her nose looked too bulbous in the portrait so she cut herself out of it. The portrait was ruined.

Now, we're both married. My husband, thank God, is very supportive. He washes dishes, makes dinner at times, helps my parents whenever we visit them. Her husband does nothing. She once said to her husband, "Why can't you be more like her husband? That's the way husbands are supposed to be." It completely embarrassed both my husband and her husband and her husband despised my husband ever since. I'm sure she wanted her husband to be more like my husband but also resented me for having a more supportive husband too.

Now she compares our kids, who is taller, who is cuter, who was the chubbier baby, who is smarter. Her son now goes nuts each time he loses a game to my son. We're all on pins and needles if it appears her son is about to lose any game with him because we know it'll result in an all out meltdown for 45 minutes.  He gets upset when he learns my son has a trampoline or air hockey table but he doesn't. So I don't know if her insecurities are filtering down to him or if this is all genetic. When I saw it was affecting the kids' relationship, I figured I better end this.

Granted, you're only hearing my side of the story but it was I who decided to end the relationship, not she, and that should tell you something. It was out of a desperate need to protect myself from her jealousy and negativity.

I think she is a bottomless pit of insecurities. That's her issue not mine. That requires therapy, I don't. The only reason I would enter therapy is if she was there so we could hash this out in front of a therapist. I'm certain the therapist would first get to the core of my sister's jealousy and insecurity issues first and then later, teach me strategies to avoid letting her affect me. That would be the only grownup approach here but my sister would die rather than see a therapist with me. She would never want to hear what a therapist may have to say to her.

It's weird how people assume I intentionally put our mother between us. I asked our mom not to tell her anything about my pregnancy. Knowing would put her in a tailspin of despair and panic which I simply can't deal with right now, especially being so pregnant.   [/quote]

*sigh* here you are again, complaining over and over about your sister's behavior and you STILL are trying to get us all to believe she is the only one with problems.  this is getting pathetic!  I also find it hilarious that you think the 30 plus people who have responded to you are all jealous and have issues too.  Can you point to ANY problems YOU might have?  [/quote]

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