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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In other words, “once they do realize” never happens, and even if they realize something needs something, they are too tired and overwhelmed to do it. [/quote]

I think this is kind of unfair.  I am not sure that you can say that people with ASD lack empathy. I have a husband and a son with ASD, and they really do "get" each other.  
Someone asked earlier how I didn't recognize this before I got married, and I was thinking about that.  A big part of the reason is that, because you don't know what other people are thinking, you attribute a lot of your own inner life and motivations onto other people.  As an NT person, I am usually right.  Not always, but I am typically very close to being able to guess what other people are thinking or experiencing or what motivated their behavior because it is so similar to my own thoughts.  When we were dating, I did that with DH, and he just went along with it, although I am sure my behavior was confusing to him at times.

Now, with my son, I am often the one who is left in the dark, trying to logic my way into why my 12 year old DS is doing something or what he is feeling.  DH is the one who intuitively knows.  And honestly, I do find myself defending myself, getting overwhelmed, and getting irritable or angry with them sometimes.

I don't know what it would be like to be them and go through the world feeling different than everyone else, not being able to guess what people are thinking, not knowing what you did that upset them or why they are so angry, or conversely, why they laughed or are pleased with you.  I just have these two people that I struggle with.  They struggle with everyone.  [/quote]

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