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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm the PP who divorced and recommended reading up on the Cassandra syndrome:  lessons from my experience - I realized that this wasn't a "relationship" or " communication" issue that could be approached via traditional marital counseling / therapy.  I came to accept that the only possible change was for me to fully understand and accommodate his neuro-diversity and to readjust expectations of communication, emotional and physical intimacy, and to disconnect in a way that his character attacks and tantrums wouldn't affect me personally.  And I decided that I could not imagine myself doing that while enjoying or even merely surviving my life.   [/quote

Hmm. The odd thing is that I think every married couple does this – realizes that they can’t change the other person and adjusts their expectations. [/quote]

No - some married couple divorce or live in marital resentment or disconnection.  I actually think it’s a lesson for all types of relationships - realizing you can’t affect how someone else acts or thinks.  That said, ASD fundamentally affects how a person relates so the non-neuro divergent partner has to RADICALLY change expectations (unless they were fully aware before coupling) and accommodate in a different way … this is not to blame ASD, but to not understand how this truly affects interpersonal relationships is very unfair to everyone.[/quote]

Exactly. That is why regular couples counseling or books on communicating will not help, and may even harm, the couple where one is on the autism spectrum. [/quote]

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