Reply to Husband wants to go to Vegas on his paternity leave

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[quote=Anonymous]Oh hell no. My DH didn't do this during our parental leave, but he did seem to view it as an extended vacation from work and would complain when the baby made it harder for him or us to do the leisure things he wanted to do. I had a tough pregnancy and then had PPD and eventually I had to sit him down and explain that unless he was going to focus on taking care of the baby and helping me recover from childbirth, then he should probably just go back to work because that's what the leave was for. Spelling it out clearly for him was good and he wised up after that.

Honestly, before actually going through it, I was all for paternity leave and felt parents should all be getting the same amount of leave in order to encourage dads to take a more active role in their baby's lives. I still think this, but I think we should give people who are recovering from childbirth more time (because they are recovering from an actual medical condition and genuinely need it, physically) and that we should be much more clear as a society that this time is specifically for caring for and bonding with the baby. I think among UMC couples, in particular, the more generous parental leave that our jobs tend to offer have become a de facto sabbatical for a lot of people. And listen, if you have an easy birth and/or lots of help afterwards, maybe it can be. But I used ever minute of my maternity leave to take care of my baby and recover. And it makes me kind of mad that a lot of people seem to think I was "lucky" to get it because of this perception that it's actually just a lengthy vacation.[/quote]

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