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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In our early 20s, our parents took us along to the Caribbean, Florida beaches, Chicago, etc.  In early 30s, beaches or lakes with young children.  In 40s, kids were tweens, real trips: Alaska, Yellowstone, Israel.   50s, kids in college, they are older, it's tougher, esp now with Covid.  We have a beach trip to OBX planned, each family in their own town home.

We are looking forward to doing the same with our soon to be young adult children![/quote]

This sounds wonderful - a different, interesting place each time, plus their own space!

Agree with other PPs that our 20's were spent going to our (mostly my) friends weddings, which we were happy to do.  Also agree on limited time off, at any age.

There are some good points made here, OP.

MIL chooses the same general area (not the same house or neighborhood, usually) every year, but only asks two people out of five where and when - which obviously, only works with two families out of five (ie: not a majority, by any stretch, and rather inconsiderate, rude and uncaring).  What should (??) be a generous and unselfish gesture, turns into the opposite.  Some years, MIL did bother to ask (not usually) and booked the unavailable times anyway, which is understandably hurtful.

Also agree with PPs who said that don't expect the invitees to be showing endless gratitude, as it is a sacrifice to make extra time, and difficult enough to arrange/spend time with their own nuclear family. If you want them there, act like it, and make time to spend equally with each group.  If you do not, it shows, and that is really not the legacy you want. Ex: MIL would babysit for SIL but not other family members; weirdest of all, people would disappear in groups on outings (often all day or all night and lave people out, deliberately - but pretend it wasn't deliberate).  It was obvious and hurtful. What's the point of inviting people to make them feel bad or less than?  Turns out, it is how MIL treated that family member their whole lives, it was pretty sh&tty of her, frankly.

But I digress.  Try to get a fair consensus, OP.  I am sure you do not have ill intent.  [/quote]

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