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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]17:48 I don't mean to keep harping on your post, but your story is heartbreaking.

I am among those who believe no matter what the circumstances following the abuse were, that you were not at fault. However, I can imagine it is very hard to quell the guilty voices in your head. To that, I say only that we all must learn to forgive ourselves for the decisions we have made. Some have a harder path of this than others. Wishing you peace in the New Year.[/quote]

Not 17:48, but I agree with this.

To 17:48:  it was NOT your fault. There are female therapists who specialize in working with victims of past abuse....they might be more helpful than your previous male therapist.

Hugs again.  ((()))[/quote]

Oh my gosh yet another person agreeing with this. There is a power relationship that is always part of this. Think of yourself as water rolling down a hill. That molester was a rock who got into your path and the relationship that followed would have never happened without the rock. Children (and you were a child) try to do inappropriate things at times, because that is an age where they are trying on personalities and personas and world views and philosophies. That rock got in your way and you took a trip around him / it. You are NOT to blame for this!

I was molested as a child and spent my twenties between the sheets. I take some personal ownership of this, I don't say I couldn't help it, etc, but I DO trace it back to what happened to me and have learned to take it much easier on myself. Like you, I saw a therapist who was not terribly helpful, or maybe I was just not that willing to open up about it, I don't know. I have posted before (I was on the pathological liars thread a few weeks back). But seeing the therapist at least helped jar me into a more active "healing" state (i'm sorry if that sounds hokey) and I did a ton of research, self-reflection, and self-help that really helped me to reclaim my life and my true personality. I never gave too much thought about why I slept with so many men in college and the years right after. It is still very hard to completely connect the dots. Your story is so much more immediate - it seems in part about reclaiming your power. It is a very confusing time for adolescents and what happened to you while you were moving around that rock / obstacle is part of your story but not your fault. I too hope 2012 brings full healing for you. xoxoxo[/quote]

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