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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Holy $hit. I did not “decide” to change teams. I was a SAHM when I realized and acknowledged what was always true. When I realized I might not be able to stay in the marriage, I began busting my ass to find a job, then a better job, then better and better until I was in a place where I could support the kids on my own if I needed to. When I got there, I told him I was leaving. 
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Let's suss out the facts here.  You realizing that "you may not be able to stay in the marriage" means you began planning to leave him.  Did you tell him at that time?  No.  Again, how is this any different than if he was planning to leave you for another woman and kept quiet because it was better for him.

When you say "I began busting my ass to find a job, then a better job, then better and better until I was in a place where I could support the kids on my own if I needed to. When I got there, I told him I was leaving" you mean "I hid my plans until things were good for me economically, then I told him."  You use your kids as an excuse for the deception.

[quote]Honestly I might have left him anyway - he has never supported me in the career, only put me down, told me I would never be anything, constant complainer, happy to put his feet up after work while I did the second shift. Sorry, not sorry.[/quote]  Did you leave him because you are gay or because he was a bad husband?  I bet he is sorry he did not know what you felt sooner.

[quote]What would you have me do?[/quote]  As every post I have made suggests, you should have been honest from the start.  The moment you knew that you could no longer be happy with him you should have let him know.  Too late.  And, you have modeled how to lie for your kids.[/quote]

^ that flies in the face of the advice of all advice here on DCUM about what you should do when you decide to leave your spouse. You don’t just tell him the instant you decide if you aren’t prepared. That’s not smart. You prepare first. [/quote]

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