Reply to S/O Has demanding sex ever actually worked for anyone?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "S/O Has demanding sex ever actually worked for anyone?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Demanding is coercive. Hinting is deeply unsexy. Not initiating at all often means no sex at all. Basically nothing works if your wife stops wanting to have sex. [/quote]

I think this is true.  I also think a woman not wanting sex is a sign of a deeper marital problem.  She might feel, in the moment, that she's exhausted from the day's work.  I know I do.  I get up at 5am and it's nonstop serving everyone else but myself until 10 or so at night.  I do not want to have sex then, since it is basically another service to someone else.  My needs are never met.    If I had a better marriage and a husband who cared about my needs in bed, I don't think daily exhaustion would get in the way -- at least not as much.

[/quote]

This post is glossing over the most important difference between men and women when it comes to sex -- most men would see sex as a reward, a way to treat themselves and relax, whereas women need to be relaxed in order to want to "give" sex.  The husband doesn't want sex simply because he's had all day to relax so he wants to tend to his wife's sexual needs at the end of the day.  Ha!  That's laughable.  Most men would choose sex over relaxation, because -- trigger warning -- sex is much more pleasurable for men.  It's un-PC to say things like this, but men's orgasms are much stronger and the act is far more intensely physically pleasurable for men, whereas for women it's "nice."  It can even be "amazing" when hormones are high in the early days, but when those hormones fade, she "gives" sex fir her husband's sake, not her own.  Whereas few men are having sex for their wife's sake as opposed to their own.[/quote]

WHAAAAATTT??? Oh my goodness, this is so completely wrong. No, sex is not per se pleasurable to men. I’m sad you think this. Yes, often it is, but that’s because men and women aren’t taught about female pleasure and we take what you said here as a given in our culture.

Now I have never been a man, but I believe, as does my husband, that my climax is probably better for me than his is for him. Of course he loves sex, it’s his favorite thing ever, and I have dang good skills. But..I don’t know, I think if I give details my comment will get deleted but let’s just say my reaction to an O suggests I experience at least as much pleasure as he does. At least. And I think it does make sense that it can be better for women. The clit is a huge organ, the sole purpose of which is pleasure, and the tip is so much smaller than the penis but has twice the nerve endings. I love pleasing my husband but fourteen years in (is this still the early days?) I am certainly doing it for my own pleasure as well.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics