Reply to DIL is distant with us, warm and close to other relatives

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I truly don’t think DH and I have done anything to hurt or offend DIL. If we knew of something, we’d definitely want to know, and apologize.

DIL is polite but distant with us. Very “formal,” if that makes sense. Never warm and open. Is always pleasant, but doesn’t get close, doesn’t want to talk about herself. That would all be fine, but she is very warm and open and fun with other members of our family, including older adults.

I almost feel like it’s on purpose. I’ve mentioned feeling that she’s distant with us to my cousin, who is my age and lives close to us…and my cousin genuinely doesn’t know what I’m talking about, because DIL gives her warm hugs and chats with her and doesn’t avoid her. When DIL hugs me, it’s honestly like a stiff offering of her upper body, not a hug.

What can I do? Can I ask her why she’s close with others in our family, but not with me? I just want her to stay and chat with us, instead of going to bed early, and talk to us with some level of enthusiasm, like she does[b] with relatives she sees far less frequently[/b].[/quote]

You just gave it away. How often do you visit? If you're like my in-laws and you visit every month for several days at a time, and you monopolize all of their holidays (like insisting they go to you every christmas, and coming to visit for every birthday and other special occasions), then your DIL loves you very much, but she needs some space and would like you to lay off a little. I really truly genuinely love my in-laws, but we see them WAY too much.[/quote]

I bet she does not love them at all. Why would she love them? She tolerates them.[/quote]

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