Reply to Am I out of line for refusing to go on a vacation with my wife?

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Reply to "Am I out of line for refusing to go on a vacation with my wife?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, is your wife like this at home? If you don't have kids yet, don't have them with her until you resolve this issue.

My sister is like this, which is why none of us will visit her at her home anymore. She goes to bed at 1 AM to 2 AM every night and chronically doesn't get enough sleep during the week because she has to wake up for work. Then she sleeps in until noon to 2 PM on weekends to make up for it. Back when I was single, I felt like a hostage in her home because I had to tiptoe around and wait 6-8 hours for her to wake up because she's also a very light sleeper. Then she'd laze around with coffee and read the paper and chat with her husband and son. She never made it out of the house before 3 PM. Our siblings and mom got really mad at her when they visited and won't stay with her either. No one wants to wait to start their day in the afternoon. I visited her a lot when I was single, but can't do it now with kids. I learned to bring a book and would go for a run then read when it was just me, but I can't keep my kids quiet for 6-8 hours.

OP, I share this story to encourage you to resolve this with your wife. My sister doesn't see a problem and her husband ended up doing the childcare every weekend and vacation day morning. From age 2, their kid would wake up and be on his own from around 8 AM until her husband woke up around 10 AM. Then her husband would do the childcare until she woke up. She's never even tried going to bed earlier, and believes that she just needs lots of sleep. In reality, she's getting 4-6 hours sleep on weeknights then makes up for it on weekends.

Now she's miffed because we won't stay with her when we visit, but my husband and I are up by 5:30 - 6:30 AM and our kids wake up by 8 AM even on vacation with later bedtimes. Your wife's vacation schedule doesn't mesh with yours and it's a recipe for disaster if you start a family together. You'll be trying to occupy little kids and keep them quiet while she sleeps in late because she prioritizes tv. Your resentment will only grow.[/quote]

This post made me much more sympathetic to OP’s position. You really captured how annoying and selfish your sister’s behavior is. I would imagine her husband is extremely resentful?[/quote]

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