Reply to Why can't men [my DH] multitask????

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think this is different things for different people. I am certain in my home that my husband’s ADHD has a role — and this impacts him at work as well. He truly is timeblind— and learning about that helped me not be so mad.

But I also think that most men weren’t raised in homes where there was this assumption that they needed to figure out multitasking kind of stuff related to the household. They might have “had chores” but they didn’t babysit where they had to figure out 5 things at once — baby crying, toddler needs to pee, chicken nuggets about to burn, what do I do? I actually never babysat either, but I definitely was multitasking within the home. I will never rely on my husband to cook a meal, because he has no ability to deal with the timing of it all. He would totally do it, but I don’t want to eat at 9pm because he makes everything else and then realizes that the baked potatoes need to go in the oven for 1.5 hours.

I also think the perfectionism of moms and the pressure society puts on us plays a role. I rebel against this nonsense and it helps. I don’t give a crap about what anyone thinks about my parenting. My kids can wear whatever they want, eat whatever they want within some reasonable parameters, etc. if my kid misses getting dressed up for spirit day — who cares???? In the OP example, [b]who cares if he puts the dishes in the dishwasher now or later [/b]— there isn’t actually a right or wrong answer. Women need to let some stuff go.

But there is also the major societal problem that women are now expected to work and still carry the vast majority of the home front. It is a nightmare.[/quote]

But a lot of us know that our husbands wont do the LATER in a reasonable amount of time. AND leaving dishes out causes bugs (ants/roaches/mice). [/quote]

This.  My DH can go 3 days without doing the dishes (as me how I know.) That was OK when nobody was coming in the house due to covid over the winter; not ok in the summer when we have a babysitter and friends over, and roaches.  [/quote]

But honestly, why not let that happen??? Let him live with the roaches a time or two and see if he likes it. Let him be embarrassed in front of company.[/quote]

He.Does.Not.Care.  He will complain to me about the roaches and do nothing (not clean, not call exterminator.) He will literally let the house fall down around him.  I don't think making our son live in a roach-infested, dirty house, grossing out the babysitter so she doesn't want to come over, and making his friends' parents think we are negligent, is a really good life plan. [/quote]

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