Reply to Would You Date Someone Who Used To Be Overweight?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m 32 and lost over 100lbs when I was 30. I’m 5’1” and spent most of my life very skinny and then a healthy skinny in my teens. Then I got hit with PCOS and some depression ( unresolved family issues as a child) and I was very overweight. I decided that I was tired of being sick and tired and didn’t love myself or my body. I lost all of the weight and went to therapy when I was 30. It was an amazing feeling. Now I’m very passionate about nutrition and working out. I know I will never go back to that place I was once in. I’m not crazy about it, but I do have many activities now that are centered around cooking healthy food and active activities like working out, running, hiking, etc. I’ve stayed committed to be the best possible version of myself. This all sounds great but dating is hard when men learn I used to be overweight. I have had two relationships since then that never cared ( one was also overweight and lost it), but most wont give me a chance. I don’t really talk about it, but I also don’t shy away from it once we started getting closer and I open about that chapter in my life. Some have been understanding, but most kind of just don’t like me after it. I know it’s going to come up at some point and I will not be able to hide it from a future partner. Do men really care if a woman was once overweight? Would you not date a woman because she was overweight? [/quote]

Hi Op, I met my DH when I was twenty eight and a former fatty, for lack of a better word.  His family is very body conscious and I was judged intensely especially by his mother.  As for my DH, and then boyfriend, our connection intellectually and our chemistry was so on point from the very start that physicality never mattered.  He could have been fifty pounds over weight and that smile would have still gotten me from the start.  Three children later and up and down with our weight (both of us) and our relationship is amazing.  My point is, no, if you just be yourself and you don't have to force that first connection you will find that person who will accept you and love you, warts and all.  You simply cannot go by what the people in the perfect bubble of elitism have to offer when it comes to relationships.  I find the majority of the couples I know in Bethesda to be robotic at best in their relationship.  You do not want that, ever.[/quote]

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