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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do you all ever have nights where no one drinks?

I'd stop buying alcohol for the house.  Tell him that you both need to stop for a bit while he figures this out.

If he can't do it, that's another big huge glaring red flag.

I like to drink, so does my DH.  But we don't drink much during the week because it's so easy for 1 glass to turn into another.  It's easier to just...skip it entirely.  It's much better for our health and waist lines.[/quote]

OP here, yes, I should have mentioned that there are a couple times a week when he either has sparkling water or a non-alcoholic beer. This is something he's trying to do in the past few weeks after a night with hard liquor where he cursed at me. I have a glass of wine each evening with dinner.

I have been thinking today though about if we need to just have no alcohol in the house whatsoever. I don't know how he'd feel about this. He feels ashamed about the whole issue and I don't know what to do. [/quote]

Ok — but your daughter may already be stuck with an alcoholic father. Don’t bring another kid into this. And I will say again, start making decisions with the fact that you might get divorced in mind. Like, don’t quit your job, etc
Honestly, this isn’t sounding good. This guy is a jerk when he drinks liquor. He is ashamed of his drinking and secretly drinks. He has trouble communicating his real needs which leads to more drinking. I hope that therapy is good for you — but you really need to realize that you may be married to an alcoholic and start to think about what you will do if he doesn’t get sober.[/quote]

OP here. You summed it up pretty well, unfortunately. I love him and hope for the best and am going to try counseling. But I do have a queasy feeling about "what if this can't be fixed"? At the same time, I am nervous about the chance for a second child possibly slipping away. Our daughter is the light of my life.  [/quote][/quote]

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