Reply to Anyone else feel socially awkward in mom groups but not in the other parts of life?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What's wrong with me?

There is nothing wrong with you, OP. Your gut instinct is picking up on what is happening and it is recoiling. Honor how you feel. Playground mom groups -- or any mom groups -- are nothing but a viper pit. A wolf pack of women loudly backstabbing the mom who is not there that day, and her kids. Seriously. Stay away from them, don't invest anything is those people. Keep your distance. I sure did. Zero regrets.

--A long-time SAHM[/quote]

While this may be true in your experience, I don't think the issue is really about SAHMs or backstabbing or overt pettiness.  Even in perfectly civil "nice" groups I have experienced, sometimes for years (comprised mostly of WOHMs FWIW), there is often an undercurrent of competition and judgment (even if it never really manifests) that seems to impede real friendships.  At least for me.[/quote]

This. Women are socialized to compete with one another and DC is a particularly competitive place, so I have gotten this vibe in many friend groups regardless of SAHM/WOHM status or even whether they had kids.

It can be overcome, but you have to find people who will confront it head on. I’ve found that the people most likely to engage in this pettiness and backbiting are the ones most determined to claim that there is no competition, that this is never a problem, that everyone loves and supports each other. Meanwhile, the person whose willing to say, “Yeah, sometimes I feel myself getting competitive or wanting to gossip, but I just remind myself that everyone is trying their best and kids move at their own pace,” is a keeper because she is actually self aware.[/quote]

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