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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Worried About His Age "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. He really is a wonderful guy, but his age has been holding me back from getting serious with him. He’s very physically fit, eats healthy, and works out 4-5 days a week. He is self-sufficient and does his own cooking and laundry. He does have a housekeeper for deep cleaning but he says he finds cleaning “ relaxing”. He’s very successful and saves a lot of his money. I know my question may sound dumb but I have friends with two husbands in their 40’s with young kids. Both have made remarks how hard it is on their bodies to keep chasing after toddlers all day. Both wish they had kids earlier when they had more energy. [/quote] OP, you are 32. If you break up with this guy, [b]finding a new partner and liking them enought to marry them will take a few years, putting you in your late 30s to have children[/b] -- honestly that is not wise. That carries more actual risk than the concerns you have about this guy. You are much better off sticking with this person, who you seem to really like! This is DC - i have kids in elementary school and SO MANY of the dads are in their late 40s or even 50s. It's not a big deal.[/quote] New poster. +1,000 to the response just above. OP, you are not thinking clearly here though you believe you are; do you really believe you'll find another "fit, eats healthy, works out 4-5 days a week, self-sufficient, successful" man easily so you can have your kids in the next few years? Unrealistic, to be blunt. And to me, it's kind of telling that you're so very focused on kids that you're letting his age blind you to both his overall fitness and your own age and the unrealistic idea of finding a guy just as great but magically younger. Not once do you mention if you actually, you know...love him and will keep loving him if he somehow became less healthy, or injured/ill, or permanently disabled, or weren't as financially successful. Because if that level of love and commitment isn't there, well, you'll have a great life until one of you is less than ideally fit and successful, and then....what? If you're sitting there thinking, that's not likely, well, in the real world, it can and does happen. If you can't look forward and see yourself sticking by him in any circumstance where he's not the ideal baby daddy, father and retirement companion you think you want, then please, let him go. Just don't expect to find another guy as ideal in time for you not to be an older mother. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but I'm not seeing any love here, just a lot of "he's a great guy who is fit and successful." Weigh how much you'd stay with him if he loses any of that. And weigh what you would do if you got married and it turned out he couldn't father children, or you had conception issues yourself. Would you move on? In other words, putting having kids before all else is a choice, yes, and you can make that the priority, but it does make for a lonely existence if it doesn't work out. f[/quote]
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