Reply to Family rift - rethinking immediate family size

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t really understand what your title has to do with considering a 4th child. I don’t think bringing another child into your family should have anything to do with your relationship with your parents or your ILs.[/quote]

And it certainly shouldn’t have anything to do with your parents’ politics. That fourth kid could end up a Fox News lover themselves. If your kids are all under 6, you have not yet reached the point where you realize that you have little control over who they become. [/quote]

+1. I mean, maybe you should have five kids, just in case the fourth is a political apostate and you have to cut them out of your life.

People need to find some hobbies and different ways to relate to people in this world other than politics. My MIL struggled with this for a long time and recently admitted that she felt like she somehow failed as a parent because her son does not hold the same religious and political views. We had years of fraught visits where she would grill my husband and me for our views on things so she can understand where she went wrong. Once we had kids, she pretty quickly figured out that less politics = longer visits = better visits. [/quote]

OP here - I have held my tongue for a long time over my father's Fox News watching BS but he has decided that he is going to be selfish and refuses to vaccinate himself rather than see his grandchildren.  To me that shows us where we stand in his life.  Protect your grandchildren when they cannot get vaccinated themselves or put them at risk. [/quote]

I understand that’s painful and upsetting. I would just say, think about how your actions to your parents are modeling the behavior you want from your kids. If they disagree with you later on would you want them to cut you off? Maybe you can find a way to see him outdoors and masked just for the sake of letting your kids know him, know where you and they came from, and draw their own conclusions later.

I say this as someone who has forgiven much worse so that we can do that, and I know it’s not easy. But even if it’s a symbolic gathering twice a year that has value.[/quote]

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