Reply to “It’s not my fault you guys got divorced!”

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Reply to "“It’s not my fault you guys got divorced!”"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think it’s perplexing that so many of you have this weird idea that if only your children knew the truth about their fathers, they’d be on your side. It’s kind of sad. And in reality doesn’t usually turn out like that.[/quote]

NP. I don't think it's a question about trying to get the kid on one's "side" but at an age-appropriate time, I think it is appropriate for a kid to receive key information like an affair, or some other major issue. Nothing is black and white, but considering what  huge impact divorce has a kid's life, I think they are entitled to have that information. Not delivered as a weapon, but as information.[/quote]

What relevance does information about an affair have to a child? I really don’t get what utility there is in the child knowing that. Marriages are complicated, adult matters. [/quote]

Exactly.  Just as the child shouldn't know that the marriage had been sexless for years before.  None of the child's business.  What is their business is that their parents love them, they aren't together anymore, they aren't going to be in the future, but that doesn't change how much they love them.  And then the focus should be on what would make things easier on the child given the facts.    Turning this into a "your other parent is bad" discussion is selfish and incredibly harmful to the child.[/quote]

I’m just struggling to understand why a kid needs to know this. For something like the child was adopted, or the other parent died or is in jail, etc.-I agree that is just basic factual information relevant to a child’s life. But the details of the problems in the parents marriage? Why does the child need to know that? If the child asks when they reach adulthood, I think it’s fine to share a bit more, but only if the now adult child is asking.[/quote]

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