Reply to Is it selfish to move abroad for good when you're an only child?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP again. I should also say that my parents weren't elderly when they died. Mom early 50s, Dad early 60s.

Given that I grew up in a small town with Mom & Dad's family no more than 10 minutes away I guess I had expected more understanding.

Dad felt very alone and down too. He also missed my Mom.

[/quote]

Why is their age relevant?

You weren’t asking for “understanding” you were asking for emotional and physical labor. [/quote]

Their ages are relevant because I didn't leave elderly, sick people behind when I moved abroad. When I moved away, my parents were still young and healthy. I did not for a moment think that they would get I'll so quickly.

As for my relatives, I didn't expect that much from them. [b]But they could have at least checked on him regularly, or asked if he needed groceries, for example.[/b] Sadly those who did offer practical help when he first got sick gave up after a while.[/quote]

Sadly you did not check on him regularly by phone or other methods, I guess? Or set up regular grocery deliveries? Both things you could have done from where you were.[/quote]

OP here. I talked to my Dad on the phone 2 or 3 times per week. I called him or he called me. We kept in touch and we talked for long periods of time.

The thing is, my Dad would only tell me what he wanted me to hear. This was not malicious or anything - he didn want upset or worry me. After he passed I found out certain things he hadn't told me. The fact that he'd had a seizure in the grocery store and in the bank, for instance. 
The reason I was hoping that my relatives would check on him is that they would have been able to assess the real situation as opposed to the picture my Dad painted when he talked to me.[/quote]

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