Reply to “It’s not my fault you guys got divorced!”

Forum Index » Parenting -- Special Concerns

Reply to "“It’s not my fault you guys got divorced!”"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think you can acknowledge your kid's legitimate frustration without getting into the nitty gritty of the divorce.

"I know, honey, but the fact is we are divorced and that's not going to change. So let's figure out what we can do to help stay organized" or something to that effect.[/quote]

This is good advice. I did once blow up and tell DS that I didn't want the divorce either, that I don't like it for kids, and that I understand how frustrating it must be to be going back and forth, worry about forgetting items, figuring out different styles, etc. and that I genuinely felt for him for that, but the reality is, this is our situation, it's not going to change, and we just need to make the best of it.

In hindsight, maybe I shouldn't have told DS that I didn't want the divorce, but I was really frustrated in the moment. That being said, I don't talk about his dad's cheating, how horrible he was to me toward the end of our marriage or any of that stuff, but DS seems to pick up on a lot of it through speaking to his dad, etc.

I think empathizing with them and validating their experience is very important, and if you're still hurting, it's very hard to separate that from wanting to tell them what happened. But bite your tongue for now--this is a conversation that could be helpful when they're older so they make better choices. But I think it's OK to say, I know this is not the easiest for you, and you're handling it so well. I'm sorry, this wasn't my first choice either, but here we are, let's make the best of it. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics