Reply to How to meet genteel upper class Americans?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What do you want to do once you meet them? Shake their hand or become friends with them or [b]learn how to be one?[/b][/quote]

Probably the latter.  I'll bet that a lot of strivers are watching this thread with bated breath and taking notes.[/quote]

You really, really need help.[/quote]

Have you seen the southern genteel thread? It's all about overlapping social organizations that you're probably not in. You could try to get your foot in the door with one but it's immediately apparent if you don't also belong to a bunch of the social clubs (garden, book, country, supper, more prestigious non-profit/civic organizations (e.g., museums, etc.), etc.) that they belong to.  Ask yourself - what do you have in common with these people? If the answer is, you don't know or not much, then it's an exercise in futility because it will become immediately apparent that you are not within the same overlapping social circles. I see the same thing with people who think just because they attend a local private school or prestigious college, that they'll be immediately enter the halls of the upper class (or their kids will). It doesn't work like that. Sure there's a chance that you make friends with these families but unless your social interests cross consistently, you're unlikely to be on their radar.[/quote]

What a load of drivel [/quote]

No, I think PP is exactly right. I was invited to join a charity group connected to a children’s hospital a few years ago. I was one of maybe two or three women out of approximately 25 who, 1. Wasn’t in a sorority in college, and 2. Has kids in public school. Almost all of these women were also in one of two local garden clubs and also the country club. [b]The meetings were completely exhausting for me[/b] and I dropped out after a few months. People were nice to my face, but it was clear they had no use for me socially. I could do far more good for the hospital just staying home and writing a check.[/quote]

NP here. Why was it exhausting?[/quote]

Just having to make small talk in a loud room packed with women with perfect hair/clothes and big smiles. Every week felt like a sorority rush event. I’m just over that stuff.[/quote]

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