Reply to Managing parents expectations about alone time with granddaughter

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think as soon as they offered to babysit, you should have just said "oh, that's so sweet of you! Unfortunately, she's in a bit of a separation anxiety phase right now - she doesn't do well in unfamiliar places, and she may not be comfortable without us. Let's see how the week goes, but I think for this trip, that might not be workable."

That's if you want to leave the door open (as, since it is a week long vacation, your daughter could very well be comfortable enough for this to happen right? There's still a possibility?)

If you are definitely not going to have the parents babysit, change it to, "Oh, that's so sweet of you! Unfortunately, she's in a separation anxiety phase right now, and does not do well if we're not nearby, so that's not going to work for this trip."

Because it sounds like your parents said "we'll do this for you!" thinking it was a favor (which, let's be clear, it generally is!), the other family is psyched, and you haven't said anything, so everyone is assuming this is what's happen and are planning accordingly. Sounds like you need to tell people now that this won't work. [/quote]

Ugh.  Please don't phrase it that way.[/quote]

PP here. What's wrong with that phrasing?[/quote]

I mean, no reasonable grandparent wants to hear that their grandchild is having anxiety issues, will be uncomfortable with them, and that it is an unfamiliar place.  [/quote]

PP back again. I was assuming with my phrasing that these grandparents are familiar with the concept of separation anxiety (as my parents and my husbands parents are, as grandparents many times over) and that it's not "an anxiety problem."

I agree if the phrase "separation anxiety" doesn't have meaning for them, as a temporary, normal part of development where babies scream when out of sight of their parents, then yes, my phrasing would not work. But my parents (and my in-laws) might be really disappointed, but they for sure know enough about kids to not take separation anxiety from a 10 month old personally, or as a sign of some kind of mental health issue in the kid. [/quote]

DP. Any "reasonable" grandparent would be aware that the baby doesn't know them or the house. This is simply a fact. And separation anxiety is a normal phase for many kids that age, which I would also expect someone who professes to be competent enough to look after a 10 month old to understand. [/quote]

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