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Reply to "As a child of a narcissistic parent"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Learn to let it go and work on your own inner child wounding and how to self-validate from an internal versus an external focus. Part of the reason this is so triggering to hear how others perceive the narcissistic parent is because it reminds the inner child of the times it was wronged. As you work on self it will actually trigger you less and less. To the point where there is actually acceptance and understanding of a perspective that sees your parents as great. This is the true experience of others and it doesn’t negate your experience, it is just different. Different people can have different experiences of an individual. Your experience is valid and you don’t need other agreement or validity to have it. Also, you do not need other seemingly contradictory experiences to be invalid for yours to be valid. I hope this makes sense. I understand where you are coming from. I am doing and have done much of the same work myself. You want to be free to really move on. The power lies within you, not with others. [/quote] Thank you. This actually REALLY helps me deal with a former friend who betrayed me in a very hurtful way and blamed me for it. I have come to realize she does have some sort of personality disorder/sociopathy but she's also a community leader. I have had a very hard time reconciling what I and a few others know of her vs. her public/surface image. I know the ability to move on and not let her affect me lies WITHIN me, so this perspective helps. [/quote] PP here. I’m so glad it helps. Keep going. Trust yourself. When you are really wrestling the inner demons instead of “fighting back”, try and befriend and offer compassion to the panicking and anxious inner voices. It is often your younger self wrestling with feeling abandoned. You can reparent yourself. Reach in and let her know she is ok, she is loved, she is SAFE. Give her the words that you wish she had had way back when. It is possible to heal these wounds. You are the person, the parent, you have been waiting for. I will often literally allow myself to replay the painful memory in my mind, but then at the end when I’ve been out down, hurt and abandoned, I envision myself walking into the room or into the scene. I swoop down and pick myself up and give my child self the biggest hug and offer her the words I desperately longed for. It is amazing the emotions that come through. Wishing you the best - [/quote]
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