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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks all. We both work in law. DH is working on many more complicated deals now which is why the hours are so bad.

I am at a different firm that is also pretty demanding. Neither of us really has the ability to but back our hours and while I could take somewhat of a step back with less pay,
I can’t find any firms that actually have that option. No one wants a lawyer who is only willing to work 40 hours per week. I have interviewed for in house jobs too in the past but nothing has been the right fit.

I really don’t want to outsource more related to my kids because I want to be with them, which is my top priority in the mornings and after work until they go to bed.

We need a good income because we have one in private elementary, eventually two, a nice house, nice cars, etc. we could certainly be a bit more frugal with cars and things, but not education.

[/quote]

I think this is a lifestyle issue, like other people are pointing out.

Since you say you're burned out and overwhelmed, you have already figured out this isn't sustainable. You could maybe use a meal service or personal chef as other people mentioned. Cash in the cars -- why do you need a nice car with two such little kids? Education, my kids are also both private school and I agree that isn't something you'd want to cut. But if downsizing could give you more flexibility I'd do that in a second. Maybe see if any teens in the area would like a job playing with the kids and tidying up. We had someone like that when my youngest was a baby, she did dishes and laundry a few days a week and it saved us some time.

You need to take a big step back and think. What do you want your life to be?

COVID has been a sh*tshow, but one of the really amazing things for me was WFH seeing one of my kids through first grade and the other between the years of 3-4. What an amazing time this has been from that perspective... the memories I have for a lifetime, I wouldn't trade for a billion dollars. Mine are 7 and 4 now. The oldest has five more years before becoming a teenager. At that point, parenting gets really different. I think these are the years for me to lay back on work and really create those memories with them that will be the backbone of their lives. And you can't get those five years back. The years when my oldest was little, I had to work like crazy to get the seniority and flexibility I have now. I was able to flex a lot more than you can now and spent every available moment, including lunch breaks, with my child. But it still feels like it went by way too fast.

Also, hate to say this, but it becomes more complicated as they get older. Their needs and schedules get a little more chaotic. If you ever want life to feel manageable, your husband needs to reassess also. Family lives with two intense schedules just aren't a thing. I know a lot of my friends whose parents had those lives and they are closer to the nannies who raised them.[/quote]

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