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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks all. We both work in law. DH is working on many more complicated deals now which is why the hours are so bad.

I am at a different firm that is also pretty demanding. Neither of us really has the ability to but back our hours and while I could take somewhat of a step back with less pay,
I can’t find any firms that actually have that option. No one wants a lawyer who is only willing to work 40 hours per week. I have interviewed for in house jobs too in the past but nothing has been the right fit.

I really don’t want to outsource more related to my kids because I want to be with them, which is my top priority in the mornings and after work until they go to bed.

[b]We need a good income because we have one in private elementary, eventually two, a nice house, nice cars, etc.[/b] we could certainly be a bit more frugal with cars and things, but not education.

[/quote]

Isn’t this what’s known as the “two-income trap”? You’ve jacked up your expenses and now you need to work crazy hours.

FWIW, DH makes $275k at this current job (I make $175k). He had the opportunity for a role that would pay $350-400k (i.e., guaranteed private school for our kids) but we both agreed to turn it down because it would bump up his working hours from 8-9 hours/day to 12+ hours a day. He likes the bond with his children.[/quote]

Same choice here but with less money. We are now both feds but are present available parents. OP, big law is not supposed to be forever for most people. It’s an opportunity to get your financial house in order (no debt, a good retirement start, a nice house with a low mortgage). Once you get set you exit and enjoy life and your kids. Instead you have fastened on some golden handcuffs and now you are trapped. [/quote]

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