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[quote=Anonymous][quote]Have your kids been evaluated for special needs? Beyond that this is absolutely a problem with your husband. He needs to shape up. The kids don't listen to you because he doesn't listen to you.[/quote]

Your DH is a much bigger problem than your kids.  He needs to be in charge of cleaning up all accidents, stat.  And that means everything---laundry, floor, kid---all of it.  Go away for a weekend to see family or friends and leave him 100% in charge.  
He will be much more willing to get on the same page re parenting.
Totally agree with posters who say to take a harder line with kids.  Get the book 1-2-3 Magic and start learning to "count them down".  Once they learn that when you hit "3" they lose something, then they will shape up.
One big reason that kids have bladder issues is constipation.  Make sure they are pooping enough.  But some kids just have faulty "warning" mechanisms about when they need to go.  Mine did.  One of my boys peed in his pants daily until age 8---he just did not "feel" when he needed to go.  It was a huge pain, and he was cooperative when we reminded him to get up and go to the bathroom, but he still had accidents.  His sister did too but got control of it earlier. 
It is wearing and frustrating but I survived because a wise older family friend looked at me and said, "He will not do this forever.  My brother did it until age 10 and he is now 65 and has had a totally normal and successful life."  This WILL end.
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