Reply to Girlfriend Wants To Get Engaged Before Moving In

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I definitely want to marry. I thought the normal next steps were to move in, live together for 3-6 months, and get engaged. She is not “ an option”. I would ever live with someone I didn’t intend to marry. I can see it from her perspective now after reading the replies. I was always taught that you need to live with someone to see if you’re really compatible, and breaking up is easier than calling off an engagement. Now I know.

I want her to feel certain that this is the real deal. I want her to feel secure and know that we will get married. I will start looking at rings. I don’t want to lose her over something dumb since I planned to propose in the fall anyway. [/quote]

Wow, I think this is the most willing I’ve ever seen an OP to see the other side of an issue and consider changing their mind after doing so.  I admit, I’m one of the pp’s who was skeptical that you were ready for commitment, but I stand corrected.[/quote]

OP here. I knew I was going or propose in the fall after living together, so a couple of months sooner isn’t that much of a change.

I have never lived with a girlfriend. I told my girlfriend months into the relationship I would only ever live with a woman if I knew I was going or marry her. [b]She shouldn’t doubt it. I’ve never given her any indication I wouldn’t marry her. [/quote][/b]

That you know of.  But you may have inadvertently, and you're swimming against a cultural tide of flaky dudes who just want to prolong dating and avoid making a real decision.  You are asking her to uproot her home, give up her lease, and be vulnerable to having to move out fast if you break up.  She absolutely should look after her own interests and she does not owe you the benefit of the doubt.  Glad things worked out for your friends (so far), but she probably has plenty of friends who moved in and came to regret it.[/quote]

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