Reply to Girlfriend Wants To Get Engaged Before Moving In

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have an alternative suggestion.  Why not try spending one week on and one week off at your respective houses for a month or two (i.e. one week your place, one week her place).  Then you can see if your living styles are generally compatible and neither of you has to give up your place.[/quote]

OP here. We already pretty much live together. She spend 90% of her time at my place. Most weeks she is here 1-2 times a week and all weekend. It’s still different than living together 24/7 I heard. All of my friends moved in first before getting engaged and I didn’t really think there was anything wrong with it. [/quote]

There isn't anything "wrong" with it, but your girlfriend doesn't want to!  And it seems like your friends are fine, but you never truly know what's going on in a couple.  People who move in together are at risk of marrying due to inertia or because breaking up is logistically difficult-- bad reasons to marry, but the consequences may take a while to show up.  Checking for compatibility is more about making sure the man will pull his weight managing a household and not be a lazy sexist slob, so if you are truly concerned about your compatibility there then sure, insist on living together and see if she walks.  But you need to understand that moving in with you means giving up her apartment and if the relationship fails or you drag your feet, she'll be in a bad situation needing to find a new place.  All the risk is on her.

If you want her to feel truly cherished and respected and are certain you want to be with her, why not just propose now?[/quote]

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