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Reply to ""Kids are resilient!""

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I agree with that statement in most cases. I do never say it though. Such generalizations are blase and passive-aggressive to me.
I don't think it means what people take it to mean or what you described as your take on it.
For example, my father was born in 1938 in former Yugoslavia. He was shorter than his older brothers. He lost his hair early due to some cradle issue that was not resolved. He was teased and called a German after the war due to his blonde hair and blue eyes. These are just superficial things you called bullying. The harsh reality of life made these well, not a big deal at all.
He finished college, became a good dad, built a house for us, took care of his family, and lived a full life.
My mom was a premie born in 1947 and lived in a shoebox next to a fireplace.  Her dad was an abusive alcoholic who used to beat her. She, too, became a successful woman who opened her own company and earned money to keep us fed during the 90s wars when survival was tough for all.
Today, perhaps we coddle our kids too much, and hence they might appear not to be resilient.
I bet you if we left the kids to their own devices in college and childhood, not neglecting, but letting them roam the neighborhood like DH and I did, he in the U.S., me back in former Yugoslavia, they would turn out fine, in most cases.
So, if your definition of kids doing fine is getting into MIT and not into UMD... well then, IMO, you have a wrong definition of what fine is.
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My parents lived through a war/post war period with displacement, death, poverty, and hunger. They went on to have a financially stable life and were good parents. I didn’t know until the end of their lives how much they internally suffered from their childhood experiences, even in their 80’s. There is an assumption that generation is fine, when it’s really not. [/quote]
Nobody is asking if they are fine, but if they are resilient. Nobody is 100% fine. Now, we are all supposed to be fine and perfectly adjusted? Your parents and mine made it and were resilient.
Did they suffer? Yes?
Compared to many kids today who are in stable families? Yes, they suffered and made it ok. My FIL's dad, an American German, fought in WWII on the side of the U.S., came home, beat his kids up, and killed himself when FIL said something that hurt him. He was not fine. Compared to him, my parents were resilient.[/quote]

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