Reply to In LTR with affair partner; exh struggles

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[quote=Anonymous]I married a man whose father did this (had an affair at the supposed "end" of marriage, never understood why his derailed family never wanted a big family gathering). Give it up, OP. Bringing the affair partner to the kids sports events? WTF? Do you want your kids to hate you someday when they realize the position you were putting their father in at those games? Some day they are going to figure out what you made their father endure to watch his own kids play sports. It's unbelievably cruel behavior.

When he was a teen and young adult, my DH believed his dad's gaslighting about how the marriage was actually already over and how his mom was so unreasonable about not wanting to hang out with the affair partner (who FIL eventually married). DH was close to his dad during those years. Then as he aged -- years after the affair and divorce -- he started to see the manipulation and gaslighting for what it was. It permanently changed his relationship with his father.

Tread carefully, OP. Your kids are going to realize what you've done some day, and what you put their father through.[/quote]

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