Reply to Is it selfish for a divorced mom to have more children with a new spouse?

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Reply to "Is it selfish for a divorced mom to have more children with a new spouse?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Totally depends on how honest you are about your particular child and how the blended family will work out. [/quote]

If both kids are equal, it’s not selfish. If the older child has to ask you why their younger sibling goes to private school and they don’t, it is[/quote]

I don't think it's so simple.  If first child has issues as a result of the divorce, such as abandonment, or other mental health problems, no matter how equal you keep things, a new child could exacerbate them and make your  life a living hell, which I think would be selfish.  But, if your child is pretty well adjusted and the new spouse is great and there is no them vs. us when it comes to your child and subsequent children, I don't think it's selfish.  I think you have to be really honest with yourself though.  [/quote]

+1 this deserves consideration. You destroyed one child’s family and are making a new family complete with new child with someone else. Child #1 will likely deal with issues around self esteem, abandonment, and identity. It’s selfish of you to seek out a do-over of your failed marriage and family while the kid has to pick up the pieces of the one you didn’t save. [/quote]

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