Reply to Kindness way to tell friend that we can't host her child anymore

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would just tell her you are concerned for his safety and can't manage drop-off playdates due to having to watch your other kids (give the climbing on shelves and leaving the house as examples).

How is his behavior at venues (park, pool, bowling, mini golf, etc.)? If it's better, maybe you could you host things like that on occasion, and she could host playdates at houses. 7 year olds should be able to have a playdate without adult intervention, I understand why you are frustrated.[/quote]

Sounds like SN, OP.  We ran into this situation many times- the kids were much happier once the parents got them the help they needed.  The parents won't tell you because they either don't know or don't want others to know - BUT it does their child an enormous disservice, because (especially if they act "surprised" at his inappropriate behavior) it makes it much harder for you to not have the proper tools to handle the situations (plural). They are letting you down, but they are also letting him down, tremendously, especially if you are supposed to be close friends.

Don't say anything about the SN part unless they ask you, and even then tread extremely carefully.  This post will trigger some people, but they need to hear an outsider's perspective.  I do hope they get the child help now, so that it will make it easier for them to make friends later. This is the best way I can sum it up, after having seen it from preschool to high school ages - without help, it will not go away, and it does not get better, and the kid really struggles.  With proper help - he will become a better version of himself.

OP, you need your energy for your house and children - not this. SN or not, do not let other people pawn their kids off on you. It is too much, and there is good reason they are trying to do that. [/quote]

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