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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]All I can say is bonding intimacy is real[/quote]

Yes. Best sex of our lives.  Hysterical bonding post-affair is real.  It hasn’t let up in 10 months. It’s like we are 25 again and can’t get enough of each other.  Sometimes more than once a day.  Much more intimate outside of the bedroom too.  [/quote]

Personally, even though I was having sex with my spouse after his affair, it didn’t feeling “bonding” to me, it felt rape-y.  That is what I felt like every time he asked me for sex - pressured because I was economically entwined with him, afraid if I said no he would just get angry and continue sleeping around, and unsafe because I consented to monogamous sex and I was never sure I was getting it. Sex felt very rape-y to me and was no longer a healthy thing for me. I felt gross afterward.  I constantly thought about how I could engineer the end of the evening so he would go to bed and go to sleep before me.  But, then he would finally go to sleep and then I would go to sleep and I would wake to find him fondly me and pressing me for sex in the middle of the night which felt ... rape-y.

Needless to say, I dumped him.  He seemed surprised and upset that I would end it. [/quote]

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