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[quote=Anonymous]NP here. OP, you sound like a patient man. I am impressed you have not had an affair yet.  Have you wondered if she has been having an affair?  That would perhaps explain her lack of desire for intimacy with you.  I would at least be sure to rule out that it is not an issue of her "diverting" her sexuality to someone else.....  Alternatively, is there a chance that she is "asexual"?  There is a supposed movement of people who are genuinely asexual.

On your point of spouses "staying the same" -- I get the sense that some people "play up" the sexy side of their personalities in the seduction/courtship phase, then some folks completely lose interest. That happened t me with DH -- who now only initiates sex with me a couple times a year, on anniversaries, vacations, birthdays.   I'd rather have sex be a multi times a week event, and have a far greater desire, adn have been in a "sexless marriage" (which I believe is statistically 10 times a year or less) for five years now.   I fantasize about ways to have more sex now, and also feel frustrated.

I don't know how you've lasted 10 years!  It is killing me after just 5 years.....  You sound like a kind husband.

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