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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's not only unfair to hold a grudge, it's bad for you and more destructive to the marriage than anything else. Men think that sex=love so they feel unloved when they don't get sex. For women it is entirely different. The fact that she didn't have sex does not mean that she doesn't love you or that she was trying to hurt you. You need to understand that and move on. She is trying to give you what you need and you need to put in the same effort to give her what she needs or you don't have a marriage. Let it go and start from here.[/quote]

Above is the most ignorant post in this thread. You don't "just move on" from emotional abuse and neglect that spans 1/7th of your life. Is that what you'd tell a child who had been emotionally abused and neglected from 10-20? Just move on? You are obviously ignorant of the kind of suffering and problems this brings to a marriage. If a man only needed sex, we could get it from numerous sources and "feel loved". I married one particular woman and desired to have a full and complete relationship with her and yes- that also includes sex. You sound like my wife. After she royally screws up, she wants to "just move on".

The ignorance in your post seems to think that a guy wrongfully imprisoned for 10 years, when released after it is discovered he didn't do it, should "just move on". In fact, that is pretty damn close to what I imagine it feels like. The problem comes so often after a child is born, that to divorce means the guy will lose nearly everything, so in the context of today's legal system, rather than do the honest thing and divorce her so you can move on, anymore, I advocate an affair until she straightens herself out. It seems like this problem is as common for women as men (surprising to me, but OK). My wife has moved on, but wonders why I really don't burn with passion anymore for her. At some point, she will probably really want what she threw away but four years after the problem went away, I still resent the hell out of her. She now does everything and anything I ever wanted her to do back then. She desperately wants the passion back that I had for her 11 years ago, but all her efforts are failing. She now does oral, porn, and anything I would have wished for back then, and the feeling is just gone.

Sex and love are closely intertwined for men, but it isn't as simple as if you fuck me I will love you. If that was the case, this world would be a very bad and unstable place. Men can have sex with people they love, people they hate, people they could care less about, people who are physically repulsive and so on. Sex does not = love for men. Love = sex for men though.[/quote]

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