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[quote=Anonymous]Divorced poster here.
I know my life will get better. And yes, a large part of my problems are from my divorce . . . but even just 5yrs ago, I probably could have found a job that would support DC and I on one salary, plus rents were lower (esp in this area, the rental market has tightened considerably in the past several years) and credit/loans were easier to get. I still would have had to make compromises, but I'd most likely at least be living on my own.
And to the PP that asked about child support. I get it, but you can't get blood out of a stone and you can't get money out of deadbeat. Child support is based on XH's income, which will likely never be above $50K. Ever. This is a reality for many custodial parents, that child support is a negligible amount and unreliable to boot.

What makes me discouraged is all the long term things. I have very little money saved for retirement, I have none set aside for DC's college. Social security can't be counted on, retirement ages are creeping upwards. Everytime I read about retirement planning, etc. I just hear over and over again "You're on your own and you're behind." I want to avoid being a burden on DC if possible, but I worry about not being able to set enough money aside in case I need longterm care (which is likely as Alzheimer's runs in my family). And college! I'd like to at least be able to help DC out so he won't be hamstrung by loans at 22. Not pay for all of it, but make it doable.

Shorter term, I worry about grade school. Am I going to be able to afford to live in a good school district? Am I going to be able to be involved in DC's school and take time to advocate for him if needed while working FT? Even good schools are not a good fit for every child, what if he needs additional help or enrichment programs? Will I be able to afford them (both time and financially)? Music, art and sports are important to me and I want DC to be exposed to them. 'Extra' programs keep getting cut in public schools, will I be able to provide him opportunities outside of school? I'm not talking schedule classes for every day of the week, but piano lessons on Tues and rec soccer on the weekends. Extra curriculars within schools are getting increasingly expensive as well (if they're not eliminated entirely). Technology is required more and more, there are currently public schools that hand out iPads to students (with parents expected to foot the bill for replacements). How am I going to keep up with [i]that [/i]race?

More and more costs are getting shifted to the consumer. Health care is going up, cost of education is going up, salaries are not. Like many businesses, people are trying to do more with less, and something's got to give. In the long run I do think this is a good thing, consumer debt is out of control in this country and we (collective we) need to learn how to budget and save and pay for things ourselves without credit, but it's going to be very, very painful for quite a while.

I didn't grow up going to private school, I didn't get a car at 16, or college paid for. But I had a comfortable house in a safe neighborhood, I went to excellent public schools and my parents were able to get me into the programs I needed to succeed. I took piano, art and music lessons, participated in soccer and gymnastics, competed in extracurriculars at school. We were able to travel to visit family at least once a year and we had computers available at home. My parent now own 2 houses, have retirement accounts, and have been able to help all 3 of us kids with college and various life crises. I expected to be able to provide that same solid middle-class life to my child.

Now? I'm not so sure. I don't think the economy will forever be horrible and I'm confident that I'll eventually be successful, but I do think that my standard of living will be lower than my parents, education and experience being equal. Maybe my child will attain it, hopefully I'll be able to give him enough of a solid foundation to get there. [/quote]

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