Reply to Help Me Learn How to Not Come Off As Abrasive

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you were a man you'd probably been seen as tough, confident and a leader. Only women have to get along.  Signed, another woman who doesn't come off well because she usually speaks her mind and doesn't have time for chit-chat.[/quote]
+1,000,000

That abrasive, agressive label for those of us with two legs instead of three is annoying as heck.  I feel for you OP but I also applaud your attempt to make it right. I'm too old and surly to give a rat's arse but I'm also quite good at what I do and I am well respected at work.  [b]I have super high standards so the people who are working as hard or harder understand and don't judge; the lazy people are the ones who have an issue because I'm constantly pushing them to raise the quality of their work.  It helps that I work with all men.[/b]  I love it.[/quote]

Oooh, this exactly. The smart competent people like me just fine. I’ve been told I need to change my style because I intimidated a new hire because I was so smart and picked things up so fast it made him feel inferior. Wtf?[/quote]

I am one of those people who would probably find you abrasive and it’s not because I’m “lazy.”  I just have a different personality and do things a different way.  I worked with a woman who sounds a lot like you and she interpreted everything I did as lazy and un-earned.  When I achieved a really high objective, she absolutely would not — could not — admit it, and instead downplayed my success as a fluke or happenstance.  She was utterly toxic.  In your case, rather than view your subordinates as lazy or weak, why not be a true leader and find a way to lift them up?[/quote]

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