Reply to Did you take revenge on a cheater or the other man/woman?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Every time I see people who revel in revenge so much, all I can think is “it’s no wonder you were cheated on.” You’re not the innocent party you try convince yourself you are. [/quote]

Agree.  You were an active part of the many reasons why your marriage was troubled.  And it isn't victim blaming- it is acknowledging that marital problems are deeper than cheating.  Cheating is a symptom of a bad marriage, not the cause.[/quote]

Cheating has many different causes.  It’s untrue it’s the case of a bad marriage.  The majority of men cite their marriage as happy.  Many are still having sex with their wives.

Therapists and psychologists have gotten away from blaming the marriage and the spouse.

Cheating #1 lies with the cheater and the problems they have inside of them that allows them to lie, gaslight and betray.  It can range from mental illness, childhood trauma, sexual addiction, mental illness, narcissism, histrionic disorder, midlife crisis, depression, etc.

It’s not uncommon for a spouse to be 100% blindsided that there were any issues.

The treatment and recovery for betrayal is also changing as it is now seen that it can cause severe trauma.  EMDR and other forms of ptsd-type treatment methods have some success.

It’s always about the cheater at the very base level of unable to communicate and the ability to compartmentalize and lie without guilt or feeling.[/quote]

This is correct.  Though I will say women cheaters are more apt to be looking for an exit/cite a bad marriage (also in sane studies), but the ones that cheat don’t have the character, education/career/finances to do the noble thing and initiate divorce first.[/quote]

All true.[/quote]

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