Reply to Resent husband and his sibling over care of Mother in Law

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] OP here-  btw, I didn’t post about memory care like prison- we did call on memory care but it is 7k a month and would go through her money so fast. A[b]nd she is with it during some days so we felt like she could do well in assisted. She isn’t confused all the time.[/b]  I have no idea really- we have tried to research / talk to doctors/  and figure out what to do. 
 I guess I resent the BIL because yes a person in retirement has more of that beautiful thing called time. We are shuffling work demands, three kids,
- they are juggling a lot of free time. I think with this coming on and bring as high need, why can’t they come and take some shifts of elder care? 
  I think that is fair. One sibling cannot be the only caretaker. [/quote]

This sounds like you (and your husband?) are in denial.   I am a pp with a 72 year old mom with dementia.   My dad and brother were also in denial about my mom's condition and thought she could live in an assisted living facility (with my dad.)    Not even a week in, it was evident how bad my mom's dementia was and that she needed to be in a memory care unit.    My dad had been "covering" and hiding how bad she had become, but once she was living in a facility and there were witnesses (the staff) it was undeniable.   
The facility they were living in did not have a memory care unit so they had to move again (just 3 weeks after the move to assisted living) to a different facility.

And yes, it will use up her money fast.   She is 90 and is in poor health.   What else should she use her money for, if not to provide a safe place for her to live?   [/quote]

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