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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"First, it’s the lack of understanding and empathy; then it’s the lack of being able to understand that they don’t understand; and then it’s the insistence that they do understand and that you’re the one who doesn’t get it."

https://www.theneurotypical.com/how-to-spot-aspergers.html[/quote]

Wow.... this pretty much nails it on the head, the struggle.  I have tried to explain this to him, but I don't think he will ever understand the special kind of pain this scenario inflicts.[/quote]

OP, my DH had a mental illness, not autism, but that quote struck me as well. Something I have long said about my own situation, where neurotypical and seriously atypical brains clash like this - the gaslighting and lying and mood shifts are a form of emotional abuse. Even though I understand my DH’s denial of reality is driven by illness (or in your case autism), and I may think he doesn’t intend to hurt me, the environment is still mentally harmful to me just like abuse.  Please get yourself a therapist if you don’t already have one. The lack of safety (financial) and the lies are traumatizing when they are repetitive and about such core aspects of your personal stability. (And also get a lawyer, and please make a custody agreement part of your post-nuptial.)[/quote]

Correct, it all presents like Verbal or emotional abuse. Hard to tell if on purpose to protect himself and makes sense of his mistakes versus delusional self image or just totally out of it.  Either way it is rude and disrespectful. Very bad if you have sons, and daughters. [/quote]

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