Reply to Do you have a difficult child and how do you define one? Not special needs. Just difficult.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Big emotions about little things. Example: me: it’s cold outside; you need to wear a sweater. My son: Starts crying and screaming, says “this is the most horrible day ever” stomps off to his room and slams drawers looking for a sweater.

Very hard on himself/a perfectionist. Me: wow I really like your drawing. You added so many nice details and colors. Him: I did a terrible job see this [stray mark] here? It’s one of my worst drawings ever.

Very competitive to the point he won’t even participate in competitions bc he hates losing/not being the best so much. So he refuses to even try to participate in sports or most games. He also refuses to even attempt to learn new skills like pump his own legs and swing himself on the swings or try riding his bike without training wheels, etc. He’s definitely strong and coordinated enough to do these things he just flat refuses to try.

Very smart and has hard time relating to kids his own age. He’s 6 and in kindergarten but reads at a 3rd grade level and reads anything he can get his hands on including a lot about science and history so he knows a lot for his age but doesn’t have the maturity to process it and will just talk and talk about things to the point another kid (and most adults too) isn’t interested. analyzes and questions everything, takes nothing at face value. Always has to know the “why” and doesn’t comply easily w requests/instructions.

Is highly sensitive and has a great/long memory. At 6 he will still bring up things that happened when he was 2 completely on his own and take himself back to that moment to rehash how he felt at the time. His feelings are intense. He gets his feelings hurt extremely easily. There’s no joking around or being silly w him. He’s a serious sensitive kid pretty much all the time which can be exhausting.

He’s just complicated. Things aren’t simple w him. I worry about if he’s happy because he often doesn’t seem like he is though he has a good life w 2 loving parents, loving and involved grandparents and a younger sister who adores him (and he adores her too) but struggles socially w his peers. We love him so much but it’s just pretty draining and exhausting sometimes to know how to best parent him when it feels like many things w him are an uphill battle.

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He sounds a lot like my son, who has both ASD and bipolar disorder, and is gifted so twice exceptional (and I’m not the parent calling gifted for no reason - his IQ is in the 91st percentile according to a neuropsych evaluation). Yours doesn’t sound as violent as my son (and my sons dad doesn’t live with us and there’s definitely been a lot of “your mom doesn’t love you” coming from dad which hurts and makes it harder to treat), but you may think about an ASD eval. We weren’t told to look into one until things got to the nightmare stage, and didn’t get a diagnosis until 11 - which was terrible. [/quote]

Thank you for your response. I’m sorry you’re dealing with that as it sounds difficult and especially the part about your sons dad telling your son his mom doesn’t love him :(. It does make me think about my own son. We've thought before he may have something more going on that just being a difficult child. He was a very easy baby and toddler and the challenging behavior didn’t start til about age 3. He has always done well in school settings but then this year due to the pandemic he’s been homeschooled and I think that has caused some significant setbacks. We are hoping once he’s able us go back to “regular school” he will be a happier kid. But I am worried about him. Can you tell me a little more about your son’s “nightmare stage” that led you to diagnosis?

My son is not violent with people but he does things like slam doors, drawers, rip up papers that he has drawn, stomp around that show a somewhat violent side of him. Generally he’s harder on himself than on other people. He is compassionate and caring toward others, wants to please others, is very thoughtful and kind (most of the time), and is very loving and affectionate (loves cuddling and when he’s upset what he needs most is usually a hug). So I had thought that thoughtfulness and affectionate part of him is perhaps a sign that he doesn’t have ASD but I admit I don’t know a lot about ASD so I shouldn’t be so sure. I’ll look more into it. Thanks again.[/quote]

If you post anything a few posters will automatically come in saying its ASD or mental health.  Not similar at all.

However you need to stop him.  Put a gadget on the door, paper away without supervision.  Stomping... he's 6.[/quote]

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