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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sorry, but you're second fiddle to the son. Accept it. [/quote]

OP here.  He discussed the plans with the friends but not me.  That's the issue.[/quote]

[b]Uh, he discussed the plan with his friends because they’re going on the trip. You’re not, so no need to discuss with you before he’s arranged it with them. If it’s next year, he’s given you at least 9 months notice. Jeez.[/b][/quote]

+1. I see it this way too.  That said, if it bothers you OP you should bring it up because something is getting lost in translation.  You either have different expectations of where you are in the relationship OR you have different expectations about being in a relationship. For example, my now DH and I didn’t start spending the holidays with each other’s family until we were engaged.  I know lots of other people do this earlier in a relationship. We found other opportunities to meet and spend time with each other’s family so it wasn’t a matter of not wanting the person to meet the family or spending time with them. Fortunately we both had the same expectations of the relationship in that regards without ever really discussing it but I could see if we didn’t how it could cause friction. If a guy wanted to start spending holidays with each other’s family before engagement, not to say I couldn’t get there but we would really have to have a discussion about it why and the things that I held dear, like having time to spend with my parents one one one and everyone being their relaxed selves (versus guest mode), I would have needed to find another time to do that. [/quote]

+2
Interesting responses to this question.  I'm a woman and I would not be upset over this, maybe because (1) I don't consider 6 months to be a significant period of time and (2) I have kids and I prioritize them over other relationships. OP, if nothing else, maybe this thread will help you see how different people can reasonably good different views about the status of such a relationship and how things are planned and prioritized.  If your SO feels like me, he probably doesn't even understand that you might be hurt by his actions.  If you see it like this, it might be easier not to view this as a rejection or a slight to you.  In any event, at a calm moment, you should tell him how you initially reacted, so that he understands your views and how you see the relationship...but don't expect to get invited on the trip.  I also do not react well to ultimatums, so if you go this route, expect that he will break up with you even if he really likes you.  Are you prepared for this?  To me, it's not worth it is you are happy otherwise, but only you can decide what you are comfortable with doing next.  Good luck and I really hope it works out.  Congrats on starting and sustaining a new relationship in such a crazy year![/quote]

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