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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A friend of mine had a really shitty home life (including abuse) as did my FIL. I don’t judge them for that, but given history of them being abused (and explosive temper in my FIL), I don’t feel comfortable with them watching my kids alone / without me. [/quote]

Sorry, that really makes no sense, unless you see reasons to be wary of who the person has become (e.g. your FIL with an explosive temper). News flash--it is also possible for people to have serious problems who *weren't* raised with such a history. And you can't be sure that someone's background isn't what you think it is.

With both physical and sexual abuse, the vast majority of victims do NOT become abusers (and, according to one prospective study of a large male birth cohort, the percentage of sexual abuse victims who became offenders was in the very low single digits).

It's much more common for victims of childhood abuse to become adult victims of abuse.

I can imagine that for OP, the concern arises because people do have conversations that touch on their childhood experiences, even incidentally, so regardless of what you say in conversation you are conscious of the gaps between either your reality and what others share, or between your reality and what you choose to disclose. Example: coworkers, acquaintances, whoever, talk about their big holiday gathering and you're, say, one of the (seemingly pretty large) number of people on here who have cut off contact with their families. 
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