Reply to Is it culture thing that parents do not talk about kids (not in front of them)?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It is cultural. To be honest, I am often truly aghast at some of the stories my Asian friends have shared with me about what their moms think is acceptable to say to them. From comments about gaining weight to needing plastic surgery to their (decent) grades not being good enough to their college or career not being prestigious enough, husbands not earning enough money, etc. It seems so cold and mean to me.

I can’t imagine saying stuff like that to anyone let alone a vulnerable child who believes in you wholly.[/quote]

My 8 yo daughter has a bit of a rounded tummy still. It would kill her self esteem and confidence if I ever even hinted that she needed to lose weight.

But I have East Asian and Indian friends who say this was completely normal among their mothers’ and grandmothers’ generations. Seems really detrimental.[/quote]

Well to contrast that, in general, I find White people (especially white women) have less resiliency and suffer more mental trauma over rather usual life hardships.

Obviously too much of going either way can be detrimental, but one way is not superior to the other.

[/quote]

Do you mean white people coddle their children too much?[/quote]

DP... I would say your self-worth in an Asian culture is just built on something different. It’s a culture that values grit and having the confidence and resilience to push past superficial ego issues to see what you’re really made of. It’s also a culture that values the contributions you make to service, family, and community. It’s each individual’s responsibility to bring the best in themselves for everyone else. Old-fashioned, conservative, survival oriented... whatever you want to call it, I think it’s just a different way of being. And certainly we see during this pandemic that there is some value to understanding you’re not better or different than others and you need to pull your weight to help.[/quote]

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