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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP back.  This is peak DCUM.  Very helpful advice confirming what the feel we got from the Carleton info session.  Great suggestion in Wesleyan and interesting info on median HHI. Exactly what I was looking for.  DD was poking around Wesleyan’s site last night found a couple programs that “look cool” and decided to sign up for an info session.  Will put Lawrence and Dickinson on the list.

And, of course, peak DCUM snark.  I don’t need to defend myself to anyone.  But I will explain.  My kid attends a large public school that primarily sends kids to big state schools and engineering. I’m my kids college counselor. Of course you don’t need to be as involved if your kid is headed to WM, VT, UVA, JMU.  These schools are financially stable, have a large variety of good programs and enough kids that most people can find a community.

SLACs are a different beast.  PP snarked you would think it is a marriage. That’s actually a good analogy for SLACs.  You are in a rural area with a limited number of people who often have a lot in common for 4 years, unless you get a divorce and transfer. And those are 4 years when you wait her make smart or very stupid decision that shape your future.

With my older kid, we could visit Oberlin, Kenyon, Wooster, Denison in a few days and from there develop a good college list based on what she liked and didn’t like. Good luck it’s that when many SLACs don’t have students in residence and most who do have closed campuses.

I also think people just have different approaches to college admissions.  Some have good private school counseling or hire private counseling.  In my mind, college admissions is when you teach you kid how to make a complicated decision in the real world. So they have the skills to make their next decision about a job or grad school on their own.

And college admissions is a great learning and growing opportunity. It’s a heart decision (my dream school!) and a head decision (what programs are available? What internships and study abroad? How is grad school placement?).

And if we are sinking $250,000 into college, it’s a business decision.  And even in my 40s I didn’t fully appreciate the last one. But, I am forever thankful my older child’s school has a large endowment and had all the resources they needed to open campus in the fall, test and test and test and do in person, rather than remote classes. Endowments aren’t sexy. They do get kids back on campus safely for in person learning in a pandemic.

Ultimately, my kid will make the decision, just like her  sister did. But, when you walk a kid through how to make a good decision, they end up very confident about and empowered in their college decision.

At the end of the process, my older daughter had 4 good, and somewhat different options in her opinion. 5 in ours (I still think she would have liked Macalester).  She discussed the pros and cons of each option with us but we didn’t put a thumb on the scale.  She headed down the basement for a week and  she emerged with what has proven to be a great decision and was able to articulate an adult sounding answer for choosing it that was both head and heart.

And every semester, she reviews the college bill and goes into her college fund with us and transfers her tuition payment. This isn’t the fun part. But, she is more than equipped to make the next big decision in her life without our input unless she asks for it.

And, of course, it was much easier to make a list before COVID made it so hard to figure out how grades and test scores would be evaluate.  What is a match. With kid 1, it was pretty clear. With kid 2, I have zero idea.

So there is your explanation.  I will say after kid 1 finished, kid two was immediately asking when we could start hers (here’s a Fisk guide and give me a few months please!).  She sees where this ends and is excited about choosing her college. So, it works for us. You do you.

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I have been following this with interest. My daughter sounds very similar to yours and is considering the same schools. You don't sound over-involved to me at all, particularly since you haven't hired a college counselor. These are good questions to be asking in junior year. And Covid makes it harder. Good luck! [/quote]

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